Thanksgiving Turkey Recipie
Transcribed by Kevin J. Rice, Justanyone.com
Courtesy of Alton Brown, Good Eats on Food Network (foodtv.com)

  1. Go grocery shopping and buy:
  2. Bring the brine to a boil, reduce heat and let simmer for 1 hour. Allow to cool then refrigerate.
  3. Approx. 8 hrs before starting to cook bird:
  4. Take bird out of wrapping.  Wash bird off completely with cool water (no soap), rubbing all skin, under running water.
  5. Add bird to 5 gallon bucket, pour in brine (approx 1 gallon) with approx 1 gallon 50%/50% mix of ice and water.  Recommend neck down first but not big deal.  Store in cool place (fridge ok, garage maybe ok if it's cooler than your fridge).
  6. Wait 4 hours.  Flip bird upside down, wait another 4 hours.  Total brining time is 6 to 8 hours.
  7. Take  bird out of brine and rinse off bird completely with cool running water.
  8. Turn on oven to preheat to 500 degrees.  Yes, 500.
  9. place bird in 1 to 4 inch high wall pan (rack is better).
  10. rip carefully a piece of aluminum foil and cover breast NOT legs of bird, molding to surface of bird.  Take off and set aside.
  11. Put probe of meat thermometer into deepest part of breast meat.  That's the lowest section of it, the center of the bird, from the neck downwards towards the legs, deep into the meat.  Set timer for 30 minutes.
  12. put bird in oven 10 minutes AFTER oven says it's preheated, not before then.  The air may be 500  but the walls aren't, you need to allow time for the walls to heat up.
  13. Bird should cook at 500 for 30 minutes.  Yes, that's right, 500 for 30 minutes.  It will smoke by 22 minutes in (probably), don't worry, turn on a fan.
  14. Take bird out and put aluminum cover you made on it.  
  15. Set oven temp for 350 degrees.
  16. put bird back in oven, set thermometer alarm for 161 degrees fahrenheit.
  17. Wait approximately 1-1/2 to 2-1/2 hours (depending on bird weights 14 to 21 lbs, more if larger bird).  
  18. Alarm will sound when temp reached,  Remove bird based on TEMPERATURE not time.
  19. Set bird off to the side for 15 minutes.  Do not touch.  Do not take out temperature probe (juices will drain!).
  20. Slice bird, eat; then:

    Grab an afgan and take a nap!